Have you ever thought to yourself: Why am I not further along in my career by now? Why am I not working in that particular role I always thought I’d end up in? Why am I not working for a company that really inspires me? Why am I not leading a team yet? Why am I not where I want to be?
You still feel you’re not quite there yet.
You’re working hard, you’re managing so much, especially as a mom. For your family, your household, your work – you’re doing all the things, but you still feel you’re not quite there yet.
In today’s podcast episode, you’ll hear me talk about:
- What might be sneaking in and stopping you from achieving your dreams – without you noticing
- Why waiting to feel “ready” is a trap that never ends
- How to recognize when you’re sabotaging your own progress
- My simple 3-step plan to break out of your comfort zone
- What specific action you can take THIS WEEK to start living a more adventurous life, yaaay!
What’s really going on
What’s really going on is you are actually doing great at your job. You might be even working in your zone of excellence. Everyone says you’re great at what you’re doing. You’re great with your team. But when something new comes up, something big, something that is asking you to step into the spotlight, to step up into a bigger role, into a leadership opportunity… you hesitate.
“I’m not quite there yet. I’m not ready. What if I mess it up? I don’t know. I think I better skill up. I think I better prepare myself more. I might pass on it and give it to my colleague. I might just stay where I feel okay. I might just support the project. It’s just as good, right?”
Does that sound familiar? That means while you are waiting, while you are sitting, while you are supporting everyone else around you, and sometimes they’re even less experienced than you, they will go for it and you won’t. They will get the promotion and you don’t.
I’ve been there too. I know what it feels like and I know why I did step back because I waited to feel ready. I waited to feel like I belonged in that spotlight. I was scared to make a mistake, to mess up, to feel nervous, to need help. I thought I needed to know everything before I could speak up or step up into that new role.
Why feeling ready is a trap
I know what it feels like. Often I was waiting to feel ready, waiting to feel like I belonged in that spotlight. I was scared to make mistakes, to mess up, to feel nervous, to need help. I thought I needed to know everything before I could speak up or step up into a new role.
But what I’ve learned along the way is that feeling ready is a trap – it actually never comes. The truth is you grow by doing things before you feel ready to do them.
Your comfort zone feels safe and cozy, but dreams aren’t built there. For an exciting, fulfilling, adventurous career, you need to take adventurous steps. You need to take steps before you’re ready.
Don’t wait until it’s too late and look back thinking, “I wish I would have played by my own rules, I wish I would have taken that step, I wish I would have been braver.” This is your movie – make it one worth watching!
Your child is your best teacher
And I’ve seen this recently with my daughter as well. They are our best spiritual teachers. My daughter is a fan of gymnastics at the moment. And she’s so excited about learning new things every week. She’s also incredibly impatient, maybe even more impatient than her mama.
So there are moments when she just doesn’t want to go anymore. She’s sitting in the car crying just for two minutes when that little voice kicks in that she’s not quite there yet, that she’s not as good as the others yet. And each and every week I see her not giving up even though a minute before she wants to stop doing it altogether. And then she starts training again and she starts flipping and she starts doing handstands. And I see how from week to week to week, she’s actually making so much progress. It’s incredible. And even though she was discouraged one week, the next week, all of a sudden she’s standing on her hands, even doing a backflip. And I’m like, how did that happen?
And it reminded me so much of what’s happening in our lives. And we’re doing the same thing. We give up before we even try. We give up before we even attempt to get good at something. We don’t see the result we are looking for. We give up or we give up even before we start!
So: we have to be brave. We have to step into that zone of adventure and growth. Because otherwise, where is the growth? Where is the adventure? Where is the excitement and the newness and all the exciting things that happen in life? All the stuff that I look back at when I talk to people when they say to me, “Oh, you’ve got so many stories to tell all the time.” Well, that is often because I did so much before I felt ready.
Even many, many years ago when I was sending my CV to jobs where I thought, “Oh my God, I’m not even 50% there yet.” Well, maybe 50%. I surely was there 60%.
So I told myself, if I convince myself that it looks right on paper, that I am that person, then I can do this, that I can send it off. It’s gonna be fine. I can do this. And then if you send it off with the right energy more times than not, you will get the right response.
So I’ve been there too many times. I used to hold back many times. I waited until I felt ready. I thought I needed to know everything, but you just never feel ready. You have to break out of that comfort zone before you feel ready.
And here’s a few things that actually work:
You need to notice when it’s happening. Step one, catch yourself. Ask yourself, why am I saying no to this now? Why am I saying no to the opportunity, to the new project, to the new role, to speaking in front of people? Why am I saying no to moving? Why am I saying no to a new side project, to starting a business? Why am I saying no? Am I saying no because I really, really don’t want to do it? Or am I saying no because I feel scared I will mess it up? I feel it’s not going to work. I feel scared because people might turn me down.
And then, you apply anyway. You do it anyway, even if you’re just 60-70% there. That’s enough. Trust me. Seriously. And most people are figuring it out as they go.
And let me tell you, particularly when you apply for jobs. I mean, really, imagine if you’re 100% there all the time. Isn’t that just boring? Isn’t it just boring to know exactly all the stuff you’re gonna be doing? I mean, it takes you two months to get up to scratch with all the things and systems and people and colleagues and learning all the ins and outs. And then, then what? Like, is that the kind of job you want to have, a safety role, a safe zone that you can play in, where nothing else is going to happen, where in six months’ time you’re going to feel like, “Oh, and now what next?” You’re going to feel like that again. Is that what you were looking for? I don’t think so.
So that’s how confidence is built. By action. You do it anyway, you leap before you’re ready and you will see if you do it more times than not you feel it was all imaginary. It was all in your head and you think back at that time when you were talking to yourself, that voice in your head, and you think to yourself, why was I so scared to do it? Why was I so scared to take that step?
It’s because that little voice in your head is trying to keep you safe. It’s trying to keep you in your safety zone. But this is not where dreams are made. This is not where dreams are made in your life and also not in your career, in your work life.
How to build a fulfilling and meaningful career
For an exciting, fulfilling, adventurous career, you need to take adventurous steps. You need to take steps before you’re ready.
So what can you do this week? Pick one little thing that feels out of reach for you. One little thing where you go, “Mmm, well, maybe not, maybe not, maybe it’s not the time just yet.” Apply for a role that you’ve been dreaming of. Apply to a company that you’ve been thinking about. Maybe they don’t have the role that you’re looking for, but maybe you can just reach out to the recruiter and say, “Hey, I’ve been thinking you are such an amazing company. Your values are like ABC. They completely align with what I’m looking for and what I’m standing for. And this is what I can bring to your company. This is what I can help you with. And when the time is right and you’re looking for someone, I would be so grateful if you think of me. In the meantime, can you please pass this on to the right person in the right department?” Because who knows? You never know what they’re looking for, do you?
And what if you don’t do it? What if you just stay where you are right now? What’s at stake? Well, you will stay safe. You will not have to work on taking that step. But maybe one day, when it really is too late, you will look back and go, “I wish I would have played by my rules. I wish I would have taken that step. I wish I would have been braver. I wish I would have been more courageous. How would everything have turned out then?”
So, what if you do take that next step? What if you are brave right now? You’ll shift your game. You’ll show yourself. Most importantly, you’ll also show others that you’re more than ready. But most importantly, you show it to yourself, even when it’s messy.
And I can promise you, the more times you do this, the more steps you take before you’re ready, the easier it will get.
So imagine yourself in three months. You might be working in a different role. You might be working in a different company. You might have started that side business, that new passion project you’ve been wanting to do. You might have packed your bags, sat in the car and drove somewhere for six weeks to do test living in a new country to get started there. Who knows?
Not because you were ready, but because you stopped waiting to be ready.
Comfort zones don’t build a dream career
So comfort zones are cozy. They are safe. But they don’t build a dream career. So don’t wait until you’re ready. Take that step now. See how capable you are. It’s time to lead yourself. It’s time to be adventurous, to experiment.
Thanks so much for listening again this week. I’m super grateful that you’re here and I hope I can encourage you every week a little bit more to take that next step, to step into your what’s next. And if you can think of someone who might benefit from hearing this, please share this blog and episode with anyone who needs to hear it.
Take care x Mel
