Do you know the feeling? You’re somehow stuck in your career and wonder why you’re not where you actually want to be by now?
You give everything for your family, your children, your job, at home – but something keeps holding you back.
In this episode, I talk about what affects many of us without us noticing: We simply stay in our comfort zone far too often.
In this podcast episode you’ll hear about:
- Why your comfort zone is holding back your career
- Why the feeling of “being ready” never comes
- Why men often advance faster (although they’re not better qualified)
- My personal #careerhack 3-step plan to break out of your safety zone
- A mini-challenge you can implement THIS WEEK that will immediately change your work-life
I know this so well, because I’ve lived through it:
In corporate environments, I often made myself small, preferred to be quiet during meetings, said no to presenting high-profile projects that would put the spotlight on me. It always bothered me that I did not chase the limelight more. And yet – I couldn’t help it.
But the feeling of truly being ready never comes! Even starting this podcast meant overcoming one of my biggest fears – speaking into a microphone.
But the wonderful thing is: It gets easier with each time.
Just like my daughter, a passionate gymnast, who after two weeks of daily practice suddenly not only masters the handstand but can even flip over – our children are truly the best teachers!
Already in my mid-twenties, a colleague told me: “It’s your movie, you’re the main character. Write the script so that you’re excited about your life!”
This is why you need to take action – now.
The point is, we often stay in our safety zone. Way too often. You might be doing your job quite well, maybe even very, very well, but new tasks, a new position, a promotion, a new employer, a new location, maybe even starting something of your own – perhaps better not, not yet.
“I’m not quite ready. I don’t have everything I need for that yet. I don’t know everything yet. I don’t have the right skills yet. I don’t have the right certificate yet. We want to be really sure.” Yes, and what happens then? We wait. And while we wait, others pass us by. And very often, those others are men.
Although they’re often not even better qualified – very, very often, that’s not the case. You can see it on a resume. You can see the experiences, you can feel the experiences, you know that the woman can totally rock it. I definitely see that. Sometimes I have also quietly and carefully encouraged someone to apply for a position. And I certainly do that with the women I work with. Where I’ve also heard more than once, “I’m not so sure, I’ve only done that once or twice.” Yes, once or twice. Isn’t that enough? Isn’t that really enough for what’s expected here? Or do they want an expert with 20 years of experience? Often not.
Yes, I know this too. I know it very well. I’ve often kept myself small in the corporate environment, in companies, in large ones. I’d rather sit quietly on the side during meetings, turning down new projects. “No, I’d rather support you. I’d rather work for you,” because if I’m the one leading this project, then in the end I’ll have to stand in front of people and present it all. Oh my goodness. Better not. Better not. I’m not there yet. I’ll let others go first.
But you know what? That feeling of being ready never comes. It never comes. Even when I wanted to make this podcast, the worst thing I could imagine was speaking into a microphone, speaking in front of people. I was so scared of it, but I knew I just had to do it. There was such an inner urge in me, such an inner calling for this project, for this creative expression, for going out there, sharing stories of other women and mothers, of other people, to inspire others, to encourage others. There was a mission in me that I simply had to fulfill, and although I was scared, the day finally came when I said, “So, now I’m just going to sit down behind this microphone.” And the wonderful thing is, with each day, with each time I speak more into this microphone, with each time it gets easier. With each time, I get more into this flow. Sometimes, when I haven’t done it for a week or two, it’s a bit more difficult.
The wonderful thing is that our children teach us these important things too, and I always say my child is such a spiritual teacher for me. Currently, she’s a passionate gymnast, and after me, certainly the most impatient person – maybe she even comes before me, I don’t know. Anyway, she can’t wait to learn new things in gymnastics. The cartwheel didn’t work, then the handstand didn’t work. And with a relentlessness, my daughter is here at home in her little mini room, has already bumped into her dollhouses and the wall and all kinds of things standing around, because this is not a gymnastics room, but a small children’s room. But it’s so incredible to see what happens from one week to the next because she’s really at it every day, doing these handstands. And now suddenly, two weeks later, after she sat here in tears and didn’t want to try anymore and nothing worked and she didn’t want to be told how to try something or how to try it differently because she prefers to know everything herself.
Two weeks later, my daughter suddenly stands here and does a handstand, and not only that, she also flips over on the other side. I can only repeat this again and again. Our children are the best teachers we have because exactly this plays out in our lives too. And exactly this is what we keep telling ourselves. This “I’m not ready yet, I can’t do that yet.” Yes, not yet. You can’t do it yet. You don’t feel ready for it yet. But if you go with small baby steps, then you’ll definitely get there.
So, how do we get out of this safety zone now? Here’s my little mini plan. Recognize the moment when you say, “No, that’s not possible.” Or “No, I don’t dare.” Is it really a no? Is it really a no that you’re saying to yourself because you don’t want to? Or is it a no because you’re scared? Is it a no because you don’t trust yourself? Is it a no because you have to move out of your safety comfort zone?
The second point is, apply even if you only bring 70 percent of what’s required, because the others out there aren’t doing it any differently, and they will pass you by if you don’t give yourself a push.
And say yes before you feel ready, say yes to learning new things and trying yourself out. And I always say, if you just see it all as a little experiment, then everything becomes much easier. Life is an experiment, an adventure. And if we learn to see it that way, then everything somehow becomes easier. And if you now take this step to say, yes, you’re ready, yes, you dare. These remaining 30%, you can learn them along the way, just like men say. “No, I haven’t used that tool yet. I’ll learn it in the first week or two, no problem. Before the project starts, I’ll have it down, I’ll work my way in, I need a week. No issue. The processes, the rest, I know it all. The one thing, I’ll do it in no time.” And that’s exactly what we mothers can do too. We probably do it even faster and more efficiently because we never have time.
So, your next step: Just pick one thing this week where you think, I’m not really ready for that. I don’t really dare. I’m a bit scared of that. And then just do it. Just get started.
Just do that with the next job you see where you say, “I wouldn’t normally do that.” Or if you come across someone on LinkedIn and you say, “Wow, they work at such a cool company. I’d love to work there.” Connect with that person. I always do that well. I just write a connect request. And in this connect request, you can write a little note. You don’t need a premium account for that. I won’t accept that excuse.
Just do it. Or if you see a job posting somewhere and it might not really fit you, write to the recruiter anyway and say, “Hey, I’ve seen the cool things you do. I’d love to bring ABCDE to you, solve these and those problems. If you ever have anything in that area, I’d be so happy. In the meantime, please feel free to forward this request to the relevant department head.” That’s how we’ve had freelancers start in our department too, because my team lead had an application for a project from someone that didn’t even exist at the time.
Yes, because if you don’t play in this game, then you’re risking a lot. If you keep waiting for what happens and don’t do anything, then nothing happens either.
And if you don’t take on changes, don’t take new steps, then somehow everything always feels so desolate and boring and without movement. And that’s what most people complain about. Somehow it’s all not particularly exciting and somehow I’m still hanging in the same situation two years later and somehow I’m still hanging in this job that actually totally bores me. And why? You are the point. You don’t take the step. You’re not ready yet. You don’t dare.
But it can be changed very quickly, it’s not that hard, and one thing I promise you, the more you practice this, the more you dare to try new things, the easier it all becomes.
And imagine, in three months, what could all happen. Maybe you’ve started a new project, created a new website, or you’ve looked for a new job, or you’ve packed your bags, got in the car, and just moved somewhere else, or you’ve just done a six-week test life somewhere, and it all doesn’t have to be perfect.
Try yourself out, test things, just jump into the adventure and trust yourself. And just always ask yourself, what’s the worst that can happen? And usually, you’ll find that not much bad can happen. The worst thing is usually that you end up where you started. That’s how it usually is for me, and then I just dare to sit at the microphone and overcome my fear, which only exists in my head anyway.
Your safety zone might feel comfortable and secure, but nothing can grow here. Adventures don’t happen here. Excitement doesn’t happen here. And you certainly won’t experience stories that you’ll look back on someday and say, “Wow, that I did all that. Incredible. Man, I was crazy. But that’s where I really grew. That’s where I grew beyond myself. That’s where I trusted myself with new things. That’s where I learned so much about myself,” because all that doesn’t happen then. Then maybe you’ll sit there someday like many others and say to yourself, “Man, crap. I wish I had lived more by my own rules. I wish I had dared and not postponed everything until tomorrow when everything is perfect. I wish I had just done it today.”
Remember, your comfort zone is not a career plan. This is your film, it’s your movie. You are the main character. Write the script in a way that you’re excited about your film, that someday you’ll look back on it and say to yourself, “Wow, it couldn’t have turned out better.”
As always, I thank you so much for being here today. I also thank you enormously if you subscribe to the channel, subscribe on Spotify or Apple Podcasts, and I’m incredibly grateful if you give me a review, because that’s just damn important for podcasts, otherwise we get stuck down there somewhere and nobody finds Mama What’s Next, and that would be a shame, wouldn’t it?
Feel free to share the episode with a friend who might have needed to hear exactly this today. I’m looking forward to having you back next week.
with love, Meli
