Today I want to talk about why female founders hide when they should be seen.
This post is about visibility for women founders building creative or service-based careers. Especially those in career reinvention who want to create meaningful work, real impact, trust and actually reach the right people. Today I want to talk about visibility. About the psychological problems that come along with visibility.
Because I’ve spent over 20 years as a brand and marketing expert (some of you might not know that), and I worked alongside some really amazing global brands like Breitling, Davidoff, Baileys, Rimmel London. I was very lucky and many of those jobs were so much fun. So I did some great, really deep branding and marketing work globally and also locally.
So I understand marketing, branding, and visibility. I understand positioning, messaging, and how to reach the right people. And this is not to sing my own praises. But I need to tell you that even though I know so much about marketing and I’m great—like I’m amazing—at promoting other people’s work and services and products, when it came to my very own work (what I was building alongside my actual jobs), I froze.
For example, I launched a lifestyle guide 10 years ago. I created an Italian shoe line. Yes. When it came to promoting and marketing my own products and services, I froze. And I froze because suddenly it was all about me. I was meant to be the face behind the thing, the service, the product that I was meant to sell. And that’s changed everything.
I was my own biggest visibility block.
The Visibility Struggle I See Every Day
As a visibility and branding coach for women building creative and service-based businesses—especially coaches, therapists, women in career reinvention—starting their next meaningful chapter to create more impact (sometimes to create more safety in their career, building portfolio careers, building something meaningful)—this is what I see again and again.
They don’t struggle as much with finding the thing they want to do because often it’s driven by a real deep calling, a real deep desire to serve people and to support other people. But it’s the struggle to become visible, to promote the thing, and to talk about it in a way that clarifies why what they do is different to other people.
And oftentimes, especially with therapists and spiritual coaches, it’s the explaining of the how. Like, what am I actually doing? And they use terminology that people don’t necessarily understand that don’t come from this space.
So, visibility is a huge problem because sometimes we get stuck in our own little world where we don’t realize what we say, people don’t understand. But most of the time it’s really the promoting of us. Because all of a sudden I have to go out there and say, “Look at me, me, me, me, me—and look at what I’m doing. Look at why. Buy what I’m selling. Look at what I’m promoting.” And people feel uncomfortable.
Those Sneaky Psychological Blocks
These are psychological blocks and they show up as overthinking. You overthink what to say. It’s a feeling like you need to be clearer before you show up. You’re holding back because it feels too personal and you want it to get right before you start being visible, before you start to promote yourself and to market yourself. And you constantly compare yourself to others and you question your own voice.
But really underneath all of that is something much, much deeper. It’s the fear of being seen by other people and it’s the fear of being judged. It’s a fear of not being enough often and we’re scared to put ourselves out there because of what other people could think.
Enter: The War of Art
So today I want to share with you a book that I read and I love—Stephen Pressfield’s books. And this one’s called The War of Art. And this is exactly what Steven Pressfield talks about in The War of Art. He calls it Resistance. It’s the invisible force that shows up in the moment you move towards meaningful work.
And of course, Steven Pressfield being a writer, he writes and references creatives and often people writing. But really, this book applies to every one of us that is being called to do meaningful work, is being called to something more, to express themselves more, and is scared to do so. Because what’s holding you back is Resistance.
And really what he says is that the more Resistance there is, the more you need to go towards that. Because this is where the growth is. And God calls you towards growth and expansion. And if this wasn’t the right thing, you wouldn’t feel Resistance.
Here’s the key: The more important the work is, the stronger the Resistance. That’s a very important line. So if visibility feels heavy and uncomfortable—it’s a sign that it really matters. It matters to you and it’s something that you need to look at. It’s something that you need to take seriously. There’s a reason why you’re being called.
The Game-Changing Shift: Distance Yourself from Your “Instrument”
There’s a specific idea in the book that I found that really explains this very well. And it also starts to shift how you can look at that problem. Because Steven Pressfield talks about the need to distance yourself from your instrument.
The instrument, he says, is you, your ego, your identity, your need for approval. When you’re too identified with the instrument, visibility starts to feel very personal. And every post feels like a judgment of you, every piece of content feels like too much exposure.
But when you start to create distance, you move from being the work to doing the work. Let me read you a small part of the book in his own words:
A professional distances herself from her instrument—meaning her person, her body, her voice, her talent, the physical, mental, emotional and psychological being she uses in her work. She does not identify with this instrument. It is simply what God gave her, what she has to work with. She assesses it coolly, impersonally, objectively.
The professional identifies with her consciousness and her will, not with the matter that her consciousness and will manipulate to serve her art. Does Madonna walk around the house in cone bras and come-fuck-me bustiers? She’s too busy planning D-Day. Madonna does not identify with Madonna. Madonna employs Madonna.
When people say an artist has a thick skin, what they mean is not that the person is dense or numb, but that she has seated her professional consciousness in a place other than her personal ego.
From Hobbyist to Pro: Your Visibility Reframe to Overcome Visibility Blocks
Because fear of rejection isn’t just psychological, it’s biological—it’s in ourselves. Resistance knows this (he calls it the enemy in the book) and uses it against us. It uses fear of rejection to paralyze us and prevent us, if not from doing our work, then from exposing it to the public evaluation.
The War of Art is only about 150 pages (and they’re not even full pages, sometimes just half). I really encourage anyone who’s in this place—who is struggling to put themselves into that space of publicity and visibility—to get that book. It’s a great explanation of why we struggle so much and how to step into our professional identity and distance ourselves.
For women founders building creative or service-based careers, especially in career reinvention and building your next chapter, this is everything. Visibility stops being “Do they like me? Am I good enough?” and becomes “What is the work actually asking me to say? Who needs to hear this? How can I serve the right people?”
Practical Steps to Get Visible Now
As a visibility coach for women building these kinds of businesses, this is the shift I guide: You are not the product.
Instead of “What should I post?”, ask: What do my people need to hear today?
Instead of “How do I sound more perfect or different?”, ask: What is true from my experience and what can I share that would resonate?
This creates distance from the instrument and connection to your work.
When I look at my work where I froze despite decades in branding and marketing, it definitely wasn’t the knowledge. I was too close to the instrument, too identified with how it would reflect on me.
Visibility for women founders — especially in moments of career reinvention—is really about becoming available to your people. Available to your work that you’re being called into. Available to your voice and to the people who are already looking for exactly what you do.
You just need to start to share your message, tell your story and tell people how you do it, why you do it… in exactly the way only you can do that.
And when you shift from self to service—from instrument to work to professional work—visibility starts to become lighter, clearer and far more powerful.
Ready for Your Next Chapter?
I hope this gave you a great example today to rethink your own visibility struggles if you face them currently. Grab The War of Art, leave a comment below—what’s your biggest resistance right now?—and share this with a founder sister who needs it.
As your Brand & Visibility Strategist helping women over 40 tell the story of their next chapter in a way that makes the right people say yes— I’m here cheering you on.
